Midnight Haze
by Maranda Marguerite
Summary: Bella copes with her new lifestyle, Edward, and Jake failing to recognize her.
1. Prologue

My first Fanfiction, please critique it!

Prologue

He was waiting for me to get home that night. I never imagined my senses could be so attuned to the world around me. By this point, I knew he sensed it, too. He knew what had happened and he's either running out the back door or bracing himself to not let his instinct get the best of him. Do I even bother to tell him? He knows. If Edward would have come with me, Jake may not detect my scent. Turning the door handle I recalled the whole reason Jake was here, why we had to reincarnate our friendship and, now, why it wouldn't happen. Was this worth it? It's too late now. Was losing a friend worth gaining love until the end of time? Of course, that was a no-brainer, Jake would never understand. Jake was the one who didn't want to be my friend anymore. Why in the hell am I trying to convince myself I made the right choice? Besides, it's too late, now, far too late to even try Jake again. Edward is the one for me. Forever.

I was in the all too dark house, an odd sense of déjà vu and I could see in the back of my mind black spiky hair and beautiful pail skin. But, in reality, there was a very tall, red skinned boy with black shoulder-length hair pulled back in a ponytail. He was still there. He hadn't run away, but he was tense, any average person could detect that. But I wasn't average anymore was I?

"Why am I not surprised?" is all he said. No hello, it's nice to see you, I missed you, nothing.

"Jake, please," I protested, "Just listen to me for two seconds," his blank stare was intimidating.

In reality, I was relieved, and proud, I'd made it this far. The last three months had been unbearable. The three months I wasn't in New York with my friends. The three months of unbearable pain and despair, regret, and feeling so close to Edward that I felt like my heart would never restart. But then again, it would never beat again.

"The scent of that bloodsucker is all over you," Could he not tell that the scent was actually me? Should I use this to my advantage or just be frank with him? Frankly, frank would be too hard to declare. I hadn't said it yet, but I knew the time would come when I had to admit what I was.

"You wanna do this or not?" I wondered how long the akward silence went on for, was I slobbering?

"Yeah, yeah, I do. I do, let's get the forgiveness flowing!" was all that came out. It probably sounds silly, but I was just so shocked I just blurted out whatever sounded best.

"Right, um, yeah, it's not my fault I stopped talking to you, Bella, I needed to, the code, we can't break the pact. Plus, I just don't like the guy. He's too," he looked perplexed as to the right word that wouldn't be harsh or too good, "smooth."

"He's smooth alright, yeah, and handsome, and he makes me happy, he loves me, and actually cares about me and not some dumb pact!" If he doesn't want to take the blame, he's taking the heat.

"Bella, you didn't listen to me. I warned you and look what he did to you, you were so depressed because that bastard left," nice tactic Jake.

By this point I was furious, "He did it for my own good, Jake, he didn't want to leave as much as I didn't want him to!"

"Don't give me that, Bella! What did he want to eat you so bad that he couldn't restrain himself? Did he think you were in danger of him and his family?" he started and then went on, "Bella, vampires are selfish, they don't give a damn about anyone but themselves!"

My look must have said it all; he was right on about why Edward left. Jake looked like he could kick himself, right then. He left.


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Where was I driving? Was I driving? I woke up in Edward's fast moving Volvo. Edward was intently staring at the barren road before us. It was almost three in the morning. Finally Edward tore his eyes away and looked at me. This look wasn't Edward. It was a young child afraid of the monsters in his closet. He was the monster afraid of horrors far worse than he. I didn't like this look. Edward shaken very deeply by what I was afraid to ask about. Now his eyes were back on the road.

"What's going on? Where are we going?"

"I can't say yet, I can't make up my mind. They'll see." His tone frightened me so much now.

"Who will see, Edward?"

"Bella, don't think about anything, don't draw conclusions, please," his knuckles were even whiter than his pale skin, his hands clenched so tightly around the steering wheel. Was this a bad dream? Suddenly Edward grabbed my hand so gently, yet so firmly.

"Edward…" I stopped. Why hadn't I'd seen it? It suddenly clicked much quicker than possible for how early it was, "Alice. What happened to Alice? What's wrong? Is she alright? Are we going to help? Who will…?"

"Bella, please, just don't ask right now. Go back to sleep, please. You're alright." It wasn't me who I was worried about.

"No, Edward, Where are we going? Why can't I know? What's _wrong_?"

He sighed; I could tell he was struggling to find the right words, "You know how badly the Volturi wanted Alice and I to join them," Edward had a pained expression on his face, "I guess they aren't as trustworthy as we thought…"

I tried to comprehend, tried to understand. I decided it was best not to ask. I need to wait. I needed to be as patient with Edward as he always is with me. I needed to support him like I would be for the rest of my life. Trust.

Edward began to hum his lullaby while I rested against his cold arm and was fast asleep in a matter of minutes.

In the morning I was laying alone in a standard, yet fluffy, hotel bed. "Edward? Where are we?"

He was looking out the window, at what I didn't know. Before I knew it he was lying next to me stroking my hair. This Edward was better than the one last night. This Edward's amber eyes didn't have fear in them, but I could sense he was trying to fool me into feeling a sense of tranquility.

I opened my mouth to speak, but his stone lips crashed into mine, knocking the wind out of me. We stayed like that for a minute or two before he finally let go, rolled on his back, and sighed, "You are so amazing, Bella. I wish you could see just how much I don't deserve you."

"Okay, I'm out of here, drive me back to Forks so I can find a better boy than you," I got up and Edward pulled me back onto the bed.

"I never said that was a reason for me to let you go," finally a smirk flickered across his face. We were kissing again. Where was the passion coming from? Was he afraid about just how much time we had?

I remembered what I'd wanted to ask before, "What's happening? Was I dreaming last night? Because, now, I'm here and not at home, so maybe I dreamed the words? Is something going on with Alice?" He tensed at the mention of her name. It wasn't a dream.

"The Volturi wanted us to join them so badly that they came to get Alice and me. Jane said that I could turn you when we got to Italy and that you could join if you wished, or just live in Venice with me," I tried to ask another question, but he touched his icy finger to my lips, "Alice didn't see them coming because they didn't make up their minds until they were right outside our door. I ran, I didn't know what else to do, I panicked and left her. I could tell the Volturi were going to use force, I could see their thoughts. They were lying about you; they wanted to kill you when we got there. Then, I'd have a vengeance. I was scared at what I saw, Jasper was trying to calm the room, but I was gone, I had to move, I had to get you out of the house. Out of Forks. Now Alice is with them, probably being forced to tell them everything she sees us doing, so we're not going anywhere, just away," I had to think about his words for a moment.

"Shouldn't we go help Alice?"

"No, Bella, I am not taking you back to Forks. Alice can take care of herself. Jasper and Emmett and Carlisle and Emse are there, too. The Volturi won't find you," the phone rang just then. Edward was hesitant to answer, "Hello?" I couldn't even hear a faint mumble of what the caller was saying. Edward made sounds of acknowledgement, but nothing. Then, he hung up without a goodbye. Edward looked into my eyes, he looked pained. It was hard to not jump on him and kiss away the fear, "They're not gone yet. That was Sam. I knew no one in the house would be able to call, so I summoned a watch dog. He said that Jane swept Forks, looking for us and found our scent. He said they could be planning to follow us. I'm going to go back. You're going to Florida."

I must have shaken my head all the way to the airport. I couldn't leave Edward. I couldn't leave the Cullens. I had to help somehow, "Please, Edward, let me come with you. Please? I'll stay in the car while you go in. Surely the Volturi aren't that bad," at this Edward snickered, "Come on, Edward, they wouldn't do anything to me while all of you are there." This was more of an attempt to convince myself than anything.

"No, Bella, you can't. If the Volturi hurt you, what would I do? And I will not change you, yet. It's the same as before when the newborns attacked," I shuddered.

"But you know how badly I want it, Edward," Did I? I did, I couldn't live like a helpless human much longer. "Can't we wait for them to leave? You could come with me to Florida and wait," I knew he wouldn't stand for that. He had an obligation to his family, he had to help them, "But, if you're getting rid of them when you get there, why waste a trip to Florida, I'd be able to come back tomorrow."

"Don't be so sure about that, Bella. We'll try and talk some sense into them. You can't be there. I won't risk it."

"But if you go with them, I'll never see you again. That's not happening. Maybe the thought you saw was only someone planning that on their own. The Volturi wouldn't go back on a deal would they?"

"I never thought they'd do this, Bella, who knows what they're capable of."

"I'm going with you, Edward, turn around. Go save Alice," we were already at the airport.

Edward kissed me urgently and then pulled me out of the car. He told me to buy a ticket to anywhere and handed me my cell phone. I couldn't leave him. He walked me to the door and kissed me for a good 5 minutes before apologizing and leaving in a rush.


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

I chased after him. I couldn't let him go. I would not let them take him. I could just see Edward doing something dumb like joining the Volturi to save _me_. That would be a waste, anyway, because, then, there'd be nothing worth saving. He was going to take me with him, despite his pleas. Edward stopped the car and rolled down the window.

"Here. You'll need this, too, just in case," a wad of cash. I couldn't believe this. He actually thought he needed to leave me. I shoved it back at him with tears in my eyes. This wasn't happening. I wasn't leaving, "Bella, come on, please cooperate just this once? Please relieve me of yet another worry? I couldn't stand the thought of you in the same ten mile radius as some angry, extremely powerful vampires," I shuddered. I couldn't stand the thought of _him_ being so close.

"What if when you drive away, I climb into your trunk, so you don't know I'm there?"

He chuckled, "That's tempting, Bella, but nothing will cover your scent."

"Can't you just leave me outside of Forks until they leave?"

"That's too close, even. It'd take them a matter of minutes to get to you."

"Well, I am not leaving this exact spot until you tell me to come with you," this should work.

Edward got out of the car, seized me, and then proceeded to clamber into the car with me still in his arms. About five minutes later we were in front of what looked like a state park.

"What if I give you a gift before I leave?" The way he said gift gave it a very good connotation.

"Well, that depends on what," I couldn't finish. Edward had swooped me up and ran into the trees.

There was a meadow lying out before us. It was stunning. To add to the wonder of it all, Edward's skin cast specks of light everywhere. Could anything anywhere be any more perfect? No, this was the epitome of beauty. Too bad I look so horrid.

Edward set me on the cushiony grass and lay beside me. He was on top of me in a millisecond. Kissing so violently, so lovingly. His hands reached my hair, my head, and pulled me closer. He rolled so I was on him, now. This just made everything even more amazing.

Edward's cold skin felt nice in the sun. What was the gift? Not that this was nothing, but it was nothing new. He pulled himself away. I'm sure I pouted a bit.

"Bella," he stroked my cheek, "I love you with every single fragment of my body and my mind and my heart. Everything I do and think revolves around you."

"I know," as did I, but he knew that.

"If you understood just how much that is, you could understand why I need you to stay away," he was quickly ruining the moment, "If you understood, and, I know, you love me, too, you'd want to leave. Without you, there is no me. I could not live for even a minute without the knowledge of your existence."

He had a point, but that wouldn't happen because if he loved me so much, how could he allow me to just go to a strange place alone? Curse vicious cycles!

"Edward, I love you so much that I can't stand the thought of you being away…again," I was selfish, "What if they take you somehow? What if I never see you again?"

He shushed me and stroked my hair. Then he assured me he'd find a way to come back to me, "I only need to speak rationally to the Volturi. They'll hopefully see where I'm coming from. And if they don't, I can't take the chance of them using you against me."

"Aren't there going to be seven vampires there who could protect me from the three? The Volturi are sadly outnumbered."

"The Volturi are also nearly three times as strong as us," I couldn't even imagine.

"Plus I'm supposed to be home tomorrow, Charlie will freak."

"Alice can call Charlie. _You _can call him and say that you're staying another night because Alice went overboard again."

"What if the Volturi force it out of you where I am and track me down and you can't get to me first?" What a horrifying thought.

"Not even I will know where you are until after they've left, Bella."

"What about Alice? I've got to make up my mind about which flight to take."

This seemed to convince him for a moment. Then he replied, slightly triumphant, "You don't necessarily have to decide you're going to where the plane lands. You could think you're going to Cincinnati when you're actually going to Huston. Or you could be flying to Salt Lake City, but know you're not staying there and fly somewhere else," how confusing.

This was getting ridiculous. Why couldn't I just stay here? I asked and he said I could, but to tell him I'm going somewhere else.

"But then you'd think I'm here!" Damn him! Now I'm contradicting myself!

Edward laughed. It was so nice to know I amused him, "My dearest Bella, don't look so far into things. Just fly _somewhere_ and in a matter of twenty-four hours, you'll be back in my arms." He may have added "like this", but I didn't notice because he was kissing me again.

He gently pecked me neck, my ears, my nose, my eyes. Everything: Almost like he had to taste every part of me before leaving. Then, he stopped. I gulped for air. Edward smiled at me, "You're going to be alright. _We're _going to be alright. Just, please, do this for my sake."

I couldn't deny him. I wanted to so badly, but I'd already put him through so much.

"Can I toss out one more suggestion, though?" He nodded, "What about La Push? Isn't the wolf's scent strong enough to cover mine?"

"They reek, but not enough to cover your heavenly scent, Bella, plus La Push is even closer than outside of Forks."

"But the Volturi don't know about the wolves."

Edward considered allowing me to see Jake. I shouldn't see Jake. Why had I suggested it? Damn.

"Bella," now was my turn to stop him. To sacrifice. I threw myself at him and we kissed for a while.

"I'll go. It won't be too hard. I could even go see my old friends in Arizona!"

Edward agreed that was a possibility, but knew I wouldn't do it because of my fear if getting any other loved one involved.

The drive back to the airport was brutal. I looked at Edward as much as possible. I touched him, caressed his cool skin. I couldn't chance forgetting every detail of my very motive of existence.

Edward kissed my forehead and walked me to the door. This parting was just as difficult as our last parting.

"Don't forget to call Charlie."

"Don't forget to keep your guard, Edward, please stay safe."

"You're telling me. You're such a disaster magnet."

I'd be fine; I'm not worried about me, anyway. Only one last reminder, "Don't forget I'll be frantically awaiting your call and I love you."

After our final kiss, he replied with a single word, "Never."


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"Miss? Are you alright? The plane has landed. You're in Santa Fe."

Already? That didn't take long at all. There was no one else on the plane except the hostess gawking at me.

"O my, I'm sorry! I'm alright, yes, thank you," I hurried off the plane and out of the airport.

Why New Mexico, I suddenly asked myself. It was beautiful and very traditional. I had always wanted to go. But it was too beautiful to enjoy alone. This whole thing was just so ludicrous: I couldn't do this.

I reached habitually for Edward's hand, but was suddenly stricken with grief of him not seeing this with me. I decided to do something I despise: shop. I needed something else to wear; I was still in my pajamas. The signs were easy enough to follow in the haze I was in, but I finally found the market. I came out with a nice shirt and headed to the mall to get some jeans.

Next I needed to find a hotel to stay at and reserve a ticket to Seattle tomorrow. I tried sight seeing afterwards, but it was too hard to bear. I spent the night in my hotel room trying to sleep.

There was a knock on the door around 4 in the morning. My heart did summersaults as I bounded toward the door.

I peered though the door to see my visitor: Edward. I nearly cried as I swung the door open. Flinging myself into his arms, I felt like I was on top of the world. He barely hugged back. There was something wrong.

"We need to get out, Bella, come on. Now," We ran to the main entrance, threw money at the clerk and made a break for the Volvo.

He stopped so quickly, I felt like I was still moving without him. There was a clump of about 5 people there. My heart stopped with fear. Jane, Aro, and two hunch men were standing by the car.

"Pretty, pretty Bella, don't fret, it'll all be alright. No one is going to hurt you just yet," she paused and giggled menacingly, "as long as Edward comes with us."

Edward looked terrified. He knew if he ran, they'd catch up.

"Oh, what a shame, Bella, Edward must not love you enough to leave you.."

"No! No, no, don't hurt her, please. I'll go, I'll go. I'll join you. Just, please leave Bella be."

"Edward!" I must have screamed at the top of my lungs. My world was shattering to pieces right before my very eyes.

"Bella," Edward looked at me in a different tone. His eyes were red and his clothes had changed. This wasn't Edward, "I love you," he said as he bent to my neck to drink.

I woke in a sweat. I gasped. I cried. I scrambled for my cell phone. I needed to hear his voice. I needed to be sure he was alright. No one answered. I tried Alice's. No answer. I even tried the Cullen household and not even one of the seven family members picked up.

Worry washed over me like a heavy, heavy blanket. I tried to calm down. I failed and broke down. Alone.

"No! No! No, no, no, no, no! No!" I screamed. I punched my pillow. I soaked my pillow. Maybe they couldn't answer because the Volturi would know where I was. Yeah, that was it. I tried to convince myself.

I couldn't sleep the rest of the night. I kept conjuring horrible things that could be happening to my family. I couldn't wait to get home.

Finally, the time came to get on the plane. It felt so surreal as the clouds passed. I was in a daze until the plane landed and then I was struck by fear. Maybe I should have waited for Edward's call. I knew I couldn't. Not to mention, Charlie. I could do this.

I rushed as quickly as possible through the airport. Rushed into the street and hailed a taxi. To my immense surprise, and major horror, someone pulled me back before I got into the cab: Edward.


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

He didn't look too happy, but I could see him struggling not to show affection. I didn't care. When the tears came into my eyes, I jumped on him.

"Don't ever do that to me again!" I slapped him

He looked perplexed, "You mean like not listening to you?"

"Exactly! Where was my call?"

"Check your phone, Bella."

I did. There were thirty-two missed calls.

"I'm sorry, Edward, but do you know how sick I was with worry?"

"I couldn't imagine," this sounded like sarcasm, "the Volturi have just left not even an hour ago! You came just in time."

"What happened? Is everyone alright?"

"Yes, yes, what about you? Are all your fingers intact? What a nice shirt!" Sometimes I couldn't explain him.

Finally he kissed my fingers and lead me to the car. In a matter of minutes we were zooming toward Forks.

"Don't take me home." Edward shot me a confused look, "I want to spend time with you before I have to go home! Is that a sin?"

"It should be, Bella, if you keep pushing my limits," he said with a grin, "Where do you want to go?"

"The meadow."

And we were there. Kissing so passionately. I was barely breathing. Edward began to play with my hair and I unbuttoned his shirt. He didn't stop me. I ruffled his hair and bit his neck. He began to undo my shirt, but, at button number three, stopped.

"Oh, Bella, see what you do to me? You cause me to totally loose myself," he buttoned my three buttons and moved to his.

I stopped his hand, "Wait."

I kissed his chest, his stomach, belly button. His collar bone was lovely. He returned the favor by tracing my collar bone with is finger as he kissed my ear and whispered, "You have no idea what you're getting yourself into."

"Don't I?"

And we continued. He pulled me to him, I pushed myself so tightly against him. This was bliss.

When we finished, he began to button his shirt, again, and, again, I stopped him. I wanted to take in the absolute beauty of Edward Cullen.

I sighed, "I don't deserve you." His look told me I shouldn't have said that, "But, I have you now, you're stuck with me."

"And nothing could give me any more pleasure," He kissed my hair and picked me up to return me to my father.

"No," I moaned.

"Bella, I can't have Charlie upset with you again."

"But it's only five! I can stay out later, he won't mind."

"Charlie misses you and your cooking. So, go home, make him supper and I'll be there."

I sniffed; I guess that wasn't too terrible.

Charlie was in a great mood when I got home. I think a break from pizza and sticky pasta helped, too. When it came time for Charlie to watch the game, I went upstairs.

There he was: Waiting. My love for him grew almost every time I saw him. It was so immense by now; my heart had to be near bursting. I loved him and, despite his protest, he will never even begin to comprehend how much. It was hard to put into words.

"Hey."

"Hey," he replied smoothly.

In one swift movement, I was in his arm and being cradled by him on the bed: Kissing my hair. Why did he always cause my breathing to cease? There were so many answers now, and in a few short months there'll be another on that list. Only after that, my breath needn't return, will it?

((Author question: Is that why vampires can run so quickly? Because they don't need to breath? I never really thought about it…I'm jealous.))

I began kissing him back after I gathered my thoughts. It was nice. He began touching me, again. Getting carried away, according to him, but totally fine with me. Actually, amazing to me. He was way too traditional for his own good, anyway. I think we are approaching a happy medium.

He stopped, of course, like always. It was frustrating, but I was used to it. Whatever made him comfortable, I guess. Maybe I should have my own boundaries set, but I told him mine, already: marriage. Why must he insist upon that? Ugh, I just want tp be with him forever, so why was "the m word" such a huge deal? Besides, like Edward had suggested, Vegas was still an option, despite Alice's pleas. Perhaps Charlie and Renee already suspected it, so maybe they won't be too disappointed or surprised.

Edward had sacrificed so much for me. I guess the least I could do was make it "official" and say "I do", eternally. If that's all he wanted, I'd do it. Then, I'll get what I want. We all need compromise in our lives.

The rest of the Cullens suddenly popped into my head, "How's Alice?"

"A little shaken," he replied, "But she'll get by."

"What happened?" I'd never really seen Alice "shaken" except for, at least what I could remember, at my graduation party and the day she thought I died.

"They were constantly in her head. She really struggled not to "see" anything. How was Santa Fe?"

""Beautiful, but it'd have been even better had I not been alone. I wasn't really able to actually enjoy any of it."

"I'm so sorry. We'll go back someday."

"Well, we only have the rest of time, we better get to it."

He chuckled, "We surely do."

((I'm sorry if this wasn't so good about half way through, my cat died in the midst of me writing this chapter and it really affected my mood.))


End file.
